I pass all my class with 4 B’s and 2 C’s. My dad’s reaction: You could have done better. 

Thanks dad, I’ll tell you the same the next time you take 5 college classes and a lab. Oh wait, you flunked out of college your first year and had to go into the navy. Whereas I am actually on track to graduate in four years without being in some special program. You’re right dad, I should have straight A’s, a Ph.D, and a book tour since I am already 20 years old. Sorry for all the disappointment I’ve caused you in the lack of award ceremonies you’ve been able to attend as the proud father. 

Why is it so easy for parents to forget what it was like to young? You’d think it would be easy to remember since it’s suppose to be “the best years of their lives.” 

kaylasaurus

What Makes You Beautiful- Napolean Dynamite

Imaginary Conversations with Famous People

The Evolution of Pac Man

In the beginning, Pac Man was an entire species of yellow blobs that had no structure or shape. Slowly over generations, the yellow blobs began to take a form making it easier for them to move around and survive. A curve appeared, growing little by little through the generations until Pac Man were half circle and half blob.

One day, a pregnant half circle, half blob Pac Man went into labor while out on it’s own. Finding the only safe place it could, it moved it’s way into a cave. On this same day, a radioactive meteor hit the Pac Man world, killing most of the population of Pac Man, infecting the rest, and trapping the pregnant Pac Man in the cave where it had sought refuge. In the pregnant Pac Man’s dying moments it managed to give birth to a Pac Man with no blob at all. However, evolution into a full circle was not yet complete, a piece of this baby Pac Man’s circle was missing.

This Pac Man, the last true Pac Man, knew nothing of the world it should have been born into. It spent it’s Pac Man adolescence in the cave where it was born. Then one day, an earthquake shook what was left of the Pac Man world. The rocks that had trapped this naive Pac Man shifted just enough. The Pac Man left its cave and saw it’s world for the first time.

As it explored its surroundings, the Pac Man came upon an odd creature. This odd creature was half circle and half blob, yet it was not yellow like Pac Man had once been. The Pac Man, having never encountered another being before did not know what to do, but slowly moved towards the odd creature. At first the odd creature did not see the Pac Man and kept moving about its business. The odd creature came to a stop and turned. It advanced towards the Pac Man. The Pac Man began to back up as the odd creature picked up speed, until the Pac Man turned and went as fast as it could away from the odd creature. While the Pac Man went away it moved into a small piece of the meteor which then fell into the missing space of the Pac Man’s circle. The Pac Man stopped, surprised that it wasn’t choking on the rock. It turned around expecting to collide with the odd creature. Instead the odd creature had changed colors and was now blue, at least its backside was blue. That was all the Pac Man could see as the odd creature went away.

The Pac Man tried to find its way back to the cave, but hadn’t been paying attention and was now lost. This would be the Pac Man’s longest night. Twice it encountered the odd creatures the same shape as the first, but different colors. Both times they advanced towards the Pac Man and the Pac Man would turn and run away. The Pac Man managed to find another meteor rock each time and swallow it. The second time the Pac Man didn’t keep moving away. It stopped as soon as it swallowed the rock and turned to look at the odd creature. It saw the odd creature’s face change blue and turn to move away. The Pac Man followed the odd creature and soon overtook it. When the Pac Man and the odd creature made contact the odd creature’s form disappeared. All that was left behind were the odd creature’s eyes, which darted away before the Pac Man could follow. After making contact with the odd creature the Pac Man felt better. It was not scared anymore, it didn’t feel lost or worried. The Pac Man felt powerful, capable, and confident. It liked this feeling. The Pac Man began to look for the odd creatures.

Every time it found one the Pac Man would race to find a rock as quickly as possible. Once it did, the Pac Man would turn and make contact with the odd creature. The Pac Man began to rely on the feeling of confidence and power this gave it. It enjoyed watching the eyes dart away. After each contact, the Pac Man would try to race the eyes to where ever it was they went, always losing before the eyes reached their destination. The Pac Man did not know what happened to the eyes. It didn’t know if they darted around the world he continued to explore or if they went somewhere where there were just eyes. Had the Pac Man known the truth.

In the area where the Pac Man was, there were four odd creatures. Just four. When their eyes darted away after contact with the Pac Man, they went back to the odd creatures’ den and regenerated. The Pac Man would spend the rest of its life thinking it was surrounded by thousands of odd creatures, never knowing it was only the same four over and over and over and over again.

Wishing to Become

Girls are small

women need to be rescued

ladies are quiet

girls are flowers

Women love to be held

ladies are calm

girls are delicate

women are graceful

Ladies are elegant

girls are Mischievous

women are Conniving

ladies are Vindictive

girls Are wild

women Are ferocious

ladies Are strong

girls become women

women choose to be ladies

ladies wish to be women